In 2019 I was busy climbing the corporate career ladder, and from the outside, I guess things were looking good.

 

But on the inside, it was another story.

​

I was not happy. Something was just not right.

I felt trapped in my own life.

 

I kept telling myself that things would get better as soon as I: Got a promotion, When the next deadline was over… things would slow down, I just need to make to this holiday and then… or when this happens then... well the list was long…

 

But it didn't get better….

My to-do lists were getting longer and longer. And I struggled to keep up with all the responsibilities I felt weighing on my shoulders.

 

My mind was constantly occupied with all the things I had to do, and worrying about if it was good enough.

 

I thought that there was something wrong with me and that I probably wasn't that smart and strong.

So I thought okay, I just have to try harder.

 

I was desperately hanging on to the belief that if I just worked super hard and proved my worth, I would cross an invisible finish line, where things would fall into place, where I would feel great about myself, finally feel that I was good enough, AND THEN I could be happy, and relax.

 

But the finish line never showed.

It was like something always happened that would make me postpone the feeling-good parts of my life, and add new criteria I had to live up to before relaxing and feeling good in my life was possible …

 

My exhaustion was starting to show and I was feeling worse, but I did NOT slow down to questioning my own strategies.

 

I kept going …

I worked all my weekends - I was thinking about work anyway, so why not just work.

 

​

It was like I couldn't stop myself. And as it was getting more difficult to keep up my facade of being this independent in control-kind-a-woman I started canceling social events. which just made me feel like an even greater loser and disconnected.

 

I didn't share how I really felt, not even with my closest family.

This time was the most lonely time of my life.

​

Looking back it was clear that I was burning out badly with stress…

But I didn't want to face how I truly felt. I feared so much facing how I really felt, and I feared finding proof that I was not good enough.

​

Reality really kicked in when I woke up with a numb sensation on my face.

I couldn't outrun or avoid this any longer.

I called in sick.

 

 

The Crossroad:

Right there, I felt like I was hitting rock bottom. Everything I had been working so hard for had failed. I had failed.

I felt a complete loss of control, and that scared the sh*** out of me.

And in the beginning, I was so angry with myself, but at some point, I realized that I found myself at a cross-road. I had to make a decision: 

 

1. Did I want to get my life back as it had been before my stress span out of control?
   OR

2. Would I turn this situation into an opportunity to explore how I could create a new and more meaningful direction for myself...

 

 

I instantly knew that there was no way that 'this' was going to be the rest of my life and that there was nothing in me that wanted my life to be as it was.

I wanted it to be better. I wanted to do something with my life. There had to be more than this. So number 2 it was.

​

 

This decision changed everything.

It gave me hope that there was another way for me, and I soon realized that stress in itself was not my problem, and neither was the work.

These were symptoms of something much more profound.

 

 

The problem was not the problem.

I had defined - not consciously of course - a set of extremely strict rules and criteria about what I deserved, what I should or should not do, and that other people's opinions, feelings, and reactions were my responsibility.

 

This is not a blame game or a question of guilt.

Not at all.

​

But I realized how my own behavior had pushed me further and further away from the life I truly wanted.

I had taken on so much responsibility but forgot one essential thing. 

MYSELF…

 

And you know what?

 

• Nobody felt better because I felt like shit, or was insisting on carrying the world on my shoulders!

 

• I didn't perform well because I worked like a maniac or postponed my needs! On the contrary.

 

• People did not like me more because I never asked for anything and ignored my own needs.

 

This was mind-blowing for me.

 

And the fire in my heart was finally back on!

I will not sugarcoat this process, it was painful, but that journey changed my life forever.

 

Not at once. 

​

But step by step did I make small adjustments in my behavior that created a positive ripple effect throughout my life.

 

New powerful connections were growing…

And most importantly I felt a deep re-connection with my family, as my heart opened to receive their love and support.

​

I was back in charge and the one setting the direction in my life.

So liberating.

So empowering.

 

Today, I am fully recovered from years of sky-high stress.

 

And yes I do still experience times of stress - that is a human circumstance - but I have the tools to deal with it, and make consistent healthy, and empowering decisions that support me in creating a workLIFE balance that is meaningful and aligned with the life I want. 

​

​

As I said my mission is to support other women to create a meaningful workLIFE balance where they thrive and can pursue their ambitions without compromising their own well-being.

 

I hope my story can inspire you to take the first step to explore how you can create a workLIFE balance that makes you thrive and feel empowered.

You deserve that.

 

With love,

Rebekka